I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Barsexuality is the new black.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
