I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
