ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
