if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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