Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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