Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
