Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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