It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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