There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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