We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
