No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
