Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
