I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
