Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
