Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
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