Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
