You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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