Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
