my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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