Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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