is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
