dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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