Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
