I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
