I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
