she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Shame is for Republicans.
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