Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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