Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
