I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
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Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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