I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
