Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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