bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
