her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
