3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
