I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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