its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.