If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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