never play flip cup with pint glasses
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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