i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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