There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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