So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
