the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
