Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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