Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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