honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize