He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
