When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
