Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up

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  (301): i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up http://tfl.nu/1cet
  Replies (29) Good night (3772) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?

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  (850): Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today? http://tfl.nu/xk43
  Replies (54) Good night (897) Bad night (4459) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad

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  (916): She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad http://tfl.nu/bnzk
  Replies (75) Good night (11792) Bad night (3330) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.

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  (206): She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again. http://tfl.nu/x87e
  Replies (45) Good night (1778) Bad night (5555) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.

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  (703): You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason. http://tfl.nu/7b14
  Replies (12) Good night (3530) Bad night (1081) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.

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  (336): I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math. http://tfl.nu/wo9g
  Replies (11) Good night (2450) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.

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  (201): She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza. http://tfl.nu/d9wz
  Replies (20) Good night (2858) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!

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  (518): Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!! http://tfl.nu/blny
  Replies (8) Good night (3335) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon

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  (210): i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon http://tfl.nu/oe7m
  Replies (4) Good night (1535) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become

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  (214): The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become http://tfl.nu/8je0
  Replies (6) Good night (2761) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  No, I did. It's a long story.

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  (484): Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that? (732): No, I did. It's a long story. http://tfl.nu/j226
  Replies (2) Good night (1439) Bad night (508)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....

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  (317): I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it.... http://tfl.nu/0a1o
  Replies (8) Good night (1439) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have a surprise for you guys

  (937): View more from Ohio

  What is it?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS

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  (740): I have a surprise for you guys (937): What is it? (740): A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS http://tfl.nu/bt31
  Replies (20) Good night (3714) Bad night (332)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.

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  (504): From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra. http://tfl.nu/w04v
  Replies (2) Good night (290) Bad night (927) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for

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  (212): At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for http://tfl.nu/la6h
  Replies (6) Good night (429) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt

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