if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
