PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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