If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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