My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
