Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
