I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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