you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Four minutes until I can fart!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
