sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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