I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
