pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
