I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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