I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize