somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Is it penis luge time yet?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
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yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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