$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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