okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
