told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Sober January is a disaster.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
