she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
